Thursday, December 1, 2011

Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer?

It has been a rather rough month with sickness in my household, but finally I am coming back from the world of he sick, and getting on track. I shall be sharing more How To's in the near future. In the mean time, enjoy my dear little Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer.

Thursday, November 24, 2011

Thanks Giving

This morning as I sit here, baking my pumpkin pie and playing my favorite Christmas album, I am reminded of the one thing that should overshadow anything else I should be thankful for.  Jesus Christ! He is my savoir. He is the one reason that I can wake up every morning, whether it is with cheery attitude, or in the grumpy state of mind that has pervaded of late.  Being sick as dragged me down, which makes this morning’s Christmas music an even bigger deal.  “When the God of glory who is full of mercy sent His Son”….to save us;  WOW-  Me … this puny person with a stinky attitude was blessed by God by sending his Son to sacrifice himself for ME.  What greater gift.  What greater thing do we have to be thankful for?

A tradition I want to start, a part from the yummy food traditions of turkey, stuffing, mom’s cabbage rolls and pumpkin.  That tradition will be something that will remind us of who we are IN HIM.  I want everything I do, not only this holiday season but every day, to reflect HIS glory.  I want to instill that in my child.  He may only be almost 3, but it what I teach him from day one that will matter.  I want him to understand the grace of God, and the love of God. Over at Simple Mom, Tsh shared the homemade advent calendar that she is making for her children.  I intend on taking that and making it my own, as we move from Thanksgiving to Christmas, those cards will have blessing that God has given us, and blessing that we can give to others. As the years go bye, things will grow on that list, and I am so looking forward to sharing those with my son.

I pray for each and every one of you who read this to remember what God has done for you.  It will be different for each of us beyond his saving grace. But record those things, if only for you to pull out on the grumpy days, to remember the amazing Gift that God is to all of us.

Friday, November 18, 2011

Simple and Practical Hanger Cover

Have you ever wondered what to do with that last little bit of yarn
from a project, you know what I mean, that little ball that just sits there staring at you? We all have them, and always wonder, what can I do, how can I make one cohesive project out of all these scraps? Hanger covers, yes, I said it crocheted hanger covers.

This idea came out of not only the desire to use up the scraps of yarn, but also to keep my clothes from falling off of hangers.  I decided to search the world wide web for some patterns, and found most of them to use more yarn than I had for the project, or were just plain unattractive.  This led me to develop a simple yet practical pattern that follows.

Here is a list of what you will need:

Measuring Tape
Crochet Hook
Scraps of yarn (or the ball you bought and can’t figure out what to do with.)
Blunt Needle
Stitch markers

Measure the hanger and jot down length on a piece of paper.  Jotting it down and keeping it in a place with other similar info will allow you to make more for this without having to continually measure the hanger every time (especially if you are like me and retain that into for only as long as it takes to measure the hanger).

Begin by making a chain in approximately the length you jotted down, applying a little tension when measuring against the measuring tape. Leave a tail the same length, in this case 27 inches (this will be used later on).
Add two more chains then measured length (this counts as first double crochet).
Double crochet in third chain from hook and in each chain until end.

When you have reached the end, chain two, and then slip stitch in last chain.
Chain two more after slip stitch and then double crochet on the other side of the chain until the end.
When you have reached the end, chain two, and slip stitch in to the first two chains created at beginning.

Take the yarn and wrap it around the hanger and use the stitch markers to hold it in place:  (you may have either side of the pattern facing out, I am sure that I never do it the same twice.)

Once you have attached the piece to the hanger, thread the blunt needle, and then begin to stitch together the two ends  and then work your way around the hanger.

Weaving in the ends when complete.
 And there you have a practical hanger cover that will help you cloths stay on the hanger.  The example was using a child hanger, but it can be done with any size hanger, with left over yarn scraps, or a consistent color if you want to give them as a gift.

Monday, November 14, 2011

Spirit Place

A silver bush greets me near a small cottage
In a valley so golden, ringing with laughter
The memories created here are sweet as nectar
Bringing a tear of joy for times long past

I was thumbing through a stack of old college papers that I had written, looking for inspiration, and came across this poem I wrote for one of my literature classes.

It is a 'song' of childhood. And a reminder of youth. It makes me smile to recall the memories of 'spirit place' where friends and I whiled away the hours imaging different scenarios taking place in our little cottage, and in the golden valley. Maybe it was just a small play house and back yard, but to us it was anything we wanted it to be. This one is for you Christie and Heidi.

Saturday, November 12, 2011

Stepping out In to the Open

I am entering a new phase of blogging; one that I approach with much awe and a little trepidation. My readership has been mainly family and close friends.My desire is to step out into the open, wrangle in a larger readership.

This requires a few things of me. Focus… oh boy, there is that word that always gets me… I sit in my kitchen as I type this, attempting to avoid glancing up to my kitchen counters where the last day and half worth of dishes sit pilled high, along with the cereal box my husband got out and did not put away, and the oat meal container I emptied into a more cupboard friendly container; and my focus is almost lost… I must rein it in. 

Okay… where was I, oh yes, along with focus come structure; another area that I have a difficult time with.  I must create a structure not only with which to work in, but for my blog.  I take a deep breath, okay, that is a big task for me… creating my own structure.

Then I must write, for I am a writer.  What do I write about? That is the question. One suggestion is that my blog be DIY.  But is that too limiting? Should I attempt to broaden my horizons a little? Or if I broaden my horizons, is that making it too big a task?  All these things come to mind. I sit in a pool of too many ideas, and not enough definition.

Let’s find definition in my pool, let’s pick up the few things that have defined my life recently.  I am a mom. I am the caretaker of my home, the one who needs to keep it in order.  I love to crochet, and attempt to create things for my home using this art form, or craft as many call it.  I am learning how to make products that first are less expensive, and second less caustic to the environment. I love food and am looking to eat healthier. These are the few things that I want to write about. 

As I sit here I am thinking of a few projects that I have done recently, and really have very few projects to share. So, if it is DIY shouldn’t it be more than just the few things I have done, and if it is DIY does that mean I can’t just write an article sharing my thoughts on a scripture, or say an author I love. Oh this task is making my head spin.

So, to my friends and family members who do read my blog currently… I need suggestions on what to focus on.  Yes I want in part to share my projects in a ‘DIY’ format, so this will definitely be a part of things. I am looking for what to share beyond that. What do you want from me?

Thursday, November 3, 2011

EZ Orchard's

Thursday, October 13, 2011

Living Beyond Your Emotions

I have mentioned in the past how it is amazing how God speaks to me with the same message from various different areas in my life.  And even some times the messages he is telling may initially seem different, but when you add them all up they are very much the same.

The message that God was giving me, which I am still piecing together, is a combination of two things.  1. Friendships are important, especially to mom’s of toddlers who stay home. 2. Emotions do not necessarily need to be your guide.

God used two things to show me that Friendships were important, one was MOPS and the other was Women of Faith.  The same week both events spoke on the importance of Friendships, and in the same exact context… being a mom of a toddler can be isolating. Wow… I thought… I need to reconnect.  The past several weeks, when at events with other adults, I was reverting back to the college girl who stood in the corn feeling awkward and unable to connect with others… ending up in tears.  It was unsettling.  I thought that I had moved past this era of my life… it was scary too.  I did not want to have to start all over working back to a place I had already been, where I was not too long ago.

I was becoming this emotional wreck.  I have always been lead by my emotions.  But God was starting to say no more.  He was saying that I needed to live beyond my emotions.  At the Conference I was somewhat shocked by my lack of emotion.  Generally when I go to spiritual gatherings I am overwhelmed with emotion in regards to something that is being spoken about.  When the topic is relevant to my situation, my emotions step in and I have this ‘epiphany’ that is based on my emotional response… NO MORE… God said no more.

After the conference (that same day in fact) I was talking with my husband, and he asked a typical guy question “can’t you separate emotion from what is being said?”  I was mad… I wished that he could understand that that was not possible… or was it?

So… what does this mean, I ask myself?  It means that I can make a change based on what I learned from the speakers at the conference, regardless on whether I had an emotional epiphany. And that means that with work, and prayer I am going to work on living beyond my emotion.

I am not sure what this means yet… but with work and prayer, God will teach me… With friends help… God will guide me, NOT MY EMOTION.

Wednesday, September 28, 2011

What If….

…my child has special needs? What if he is not ‘normal’? This is a question that has been going through my mind of late. It is not something that I really talk about to anyone other than close family members… but I feel that I need to share my struggle. About 7 or 8 months ago I started to be concerned about my son’s speech. He had been saying certain words without being prompted, and then he stopped saying those words altogether, regardless of prompting. I was not sure if this was normal or not so I asked the doctor about it. I explained that the other child his age was a girl so I did my best not to compare, as girls I know tend to talk earlier than boys, but I wanted to voice my nagging concern. My doctor is great, he listened to me, and said that he currently is within ‘normal’ range but if it is something I am really worried about, he would send him for evaluation. We did an evaluation, which indicated that he was on the low end of the scale, not anything to be too concerned about, but it did warrant further sessions of speech therapy. We did a few of them, but I choose to stop, when he seemed to be doing well. I also choose to stop due to his lovely temper tantrums when we had to leave the sessions. In fact he bit me twice upon leaving. Initially I was not concerned about the tantrums, they seemed within the norm. But as the months went by, and I started watching my friends little girl of the same age… concerns started mounting. Other things, that individually might not cause concern, began to add up to something that just was not right. I still can’t put my finger on it… and do not want to go into detail, but upon his speech therapy appointment yesterday, my concern was echoed in the therapist. She says that although she is not trained, she feels there is something more to Ronin’s speech issues; we reviewed all of those things that just weren’t ‘right’; and decided that we are going to see about getting him evaluated by a range of specialists. There may be nothing major wrong, he may just need guidance that I am unsure of how to give. Please be praying that this journey not overwhelm me. I know that what ever God puts in front of me, he has given me the power to overcome… but no one ever wants anything bad to happen to their child. I love my son very much, and do not want him to have to struggle… and it scares me a bit to think that my child might have issues that will set him apart and may cause ridicule later in life… yet, he is a special child, with a place in this world that God created just for him, and regardless of any special needs he has, God will use him… then again, he may not have any issues and just may be slow at accomplishing those milestones.

Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Taking Every Thought Captive

Today I finally checked out a link that my mom had told me about. In my last post I talked about how God sometimes will talk to you through out the week and suddenly you hear what he says. Well, today when I just clicked on that link in my favorites list, God said "hey, guess what, I am talking to you".

Taking every thought captive sounds intimidating, I will not lie. But God has told us this is what we need to do... He also says "do not be afraid, or dismayed for I am with you".

Fear is the number one thing that runs through my head and holds me back from stepping out and doing those things that I want to do. I allow fear to run rampant in my thought life, and I suffer because of it.

No longer. I choose to take the step and begin the process of learning how to take every thought captive.

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

God Is Good

This past week has been rough… but one thing hit me tonight, smack in the face. God is SO good.

He will take one small thing and teach you a lesson from it, often referring back to things from your week that reinforces everything.

Tonight I was watching a dvr’d “What not to Wear” one of my favorite shows. I have often dreamt of being on this show. And God, in is all knowing way spoke to me in many, many ways. This woman, who had been a hard partier, and alcoholic, even with two small children, decided one day that she had to change her ways, that what she was doing was not fair to her husband and children. She quit drinking and partying and chose to focus on her family, somewhere in that process she lost her self. She dressed in such a way that indicated that she was not confident in this new life, and that she did not love her life, her job or herself. This was sad… and looking at her she looked depressed, and she was. Loosing herself was hard, she was glad that she had changed the bad ways, and become a healthier person, but she was not glad that she had lost her identity. She stopped giving herself time as punishment for taking the time she had already taken partying and drinking.

Through her transformation she realized that if she took time for herself, she was better at those things she had made the sacrifices for; being a mom, wife and good employee.

There were several things that God was teaching me through this. 1. That I need to take time for myself. This led to me spending my much needed time in the tub, with Lori Line playing on my iphone. As I sat soaking in the tub, listening to this music, it took me back to my late teens. Those days when you dream about everything you hope to become. You have no idea what life is going to bring you… will you be a famous chef/author/actress. Will you meet the most amazing man who will take you away on his valiant steed? Christie, we spent so many days and nights dreaming… wishing…. For a life that would some day come. We were such romantics…. But nothing, and I mean nothing compares to reality, the dirty diapers, the sleepless nights, and then it is followed by those wet kisses and warm snuggles.

Life never is what you expect it to be… but it is what you make of it. I dreamt so many things that I can’t even remember what they were, but the facts are there. And I am determined to make from them the beautiful life that God has right there for me.

The second thing that God was pushing on me was that I can make a difference in women’s lives with the opportunity he gave me through Mary Kay. Every time I watch What not to Wear, I am impressed with the changes that come over these women The confidence that is instilled in many of them. I even have said that making yourself beautiful makes you feel beautiful. This woman, who had transformed her life for the better was happy in many ways, but not happy with herself. She was transformed by the change in her style. She gained Confidence. It is sad that we put so much stock in how we look, but due to the fall, it is a part of who we are. Taking time, and care with our bodies not only instills confidence, it allows us to be more than we ever thought we could be. Waking up and taking care of you first, as a mom especially, is the most important thing we could do for 1. God, 2. Ourselves. 3 our families. I am going to make a difference. I am not sure, as I type this, how that will play out. But God has placed a goldmine in my hands, and I am obligated to use that Gold mine in one way or another. This Gold mine is not just Mary Kay, it is my ability to write, it is my ability to mold the small boy into a Godly Man, it is my ability to be the best wife I know how…. He has placed a Gold mine in everyone’s life… USE IT. Take the time needed to find out what that is TODAY, because it is an ever-changing thing. But most importantly, to all you moms out there, TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF FIRST. If that means waking up before your family to get that shower in, DO IT. Do not give in to what the world says is… God says something far different, LISTEN to him.

Monday, August 1, 2011

The Best Day Ever....

.... at leas that is what Ronin was thinking I am sure.

Friday was a big day for my little man, we had a wonderful trip to the zoo and took a ride on train. Now if you know my son, he loves Loves LOVES trains. Just watching him cycle from excitement to contentment and back again was priceless. Although the scenery was beautiful, it was hard to take my eyes of Ronin. I am trying my best to enjoy every minute of his life while he is this age, even when he is throwing a tantrum, which did occur several times that day.

Here are a few pictures that commemorate the train trip.

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Getting back on track

requires some discipline. There are times when I am spot on, I am filling out my daily task list, reading my devotional, keeping my home organized and clean, and then pow.... the organization decides to take a hike. Or... well to be honest I decide that I just don't want to function on the level of a regular human being. I decide to not take my medication (see previous post) and I spiral into this depression that takes me away from my duties. I try and put on a brave face, I do my best to 'pretend' that everything is okay, I tend to think I am a pro at this. Normally, after one of these periods I berate myself, but I have learned that is counter-productive. If I want to get to the place of peace that exists in my turmoil, beating myself up is pointless.

God has been speaking to me a lot lately, and due to the bout of depression that I have felt of late, I have really been struggling with listening to him. I have felt that it was too difficult to do what he asked. One of the ways he choose to speak to me last night was through a dream. The content of the dream is private, but the lesson is something I think at some point everyone learns. Some learn it the hard way, while others learn through others, or in my case through a dream. In this dream my heart was broken. I was devastated, yet a conversation that took place made me realize my part in that heart brake. I choose to focus on my fears and depression instead of on what I could do for others. The song JOY comes to mind.
J-O-Y, J-O-Y tell me what it means:
Jesus first yourself last and others in between.

It is a child's song, but something that we forget often as we grow up. When you focus on fears and sadness there is no room for joy and happiness. You create a vicious cycle that creates more fear and sadness.

"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go."
Joshua 1:9

This was a verse that a friend shared with me many years ago, and oddly enough, this weekend at my garage sale, a women picked up a bible I was selling, and it literally fell open to that verse, which I had underlined. She was sharing it with some single moms in a bible study, and it reminded me that the fear I have been giving in to is not of God...

So, I am going to do the best that I can to turn from the fear, and get back on track, focusing on J-O-Y.

Monday, June 13, 2011

It can be a good thing.

This past week, as I drove along or pushed my cart down the grocery aisles, I started to feel anxious, sad, depressed by what I saw. Yet the sights were no different than what I normally saw in previous weeks. I also began to feel like a failure, getting more emotional when anything 'not good' happened. I cried more and fought more, and just plain wanted to curl up in a ball and do nothing but sit there. I cried out to God for help...

It was after a few days of this and crying out to God that I realized something. I was missing something. I had not taken my medication in about a week. I am on zoloft and welbutrin for two reasons. 1. I get anxious and then depressed. 2. I have ADD.

Now some might say that I need to get it under control without meds, that they are not good for you. Once upon a time I agreed with this. Then I was diagnosed with Ulcerative Colitis, which is aggravated by anxiety and depression. I could no longer just believe that I would suddenly be cured of my anxiety and depression. It was affecting my physical well being, and so I started taking medication, and WOW what a difference that medication has made.

Although I have had surgery to remove my colon and am free of the holds of that disease, I still take the medication. I realize that when I do not take it my desire to function no longer exists. (And no, suicide has NEVER crossed my mind)

My ability to react in a semi-level headed manner is also reduced. I feel like 'whats the point' even as my kitchen stinks due to my avoidance of cleaning it.

This is a real problem, one that I struggle with on a daily basis. It can affect my family in such a negative way, and even as I cry out to God, if I do not do what he has shown will help me, nothing will fix it. God gave someone the ability to create this medication, one that helps me not only feel less depressed and anxious, but one that helps me to focus. I embrace this gift that He has lead me to. I do not abuse it (or else I would not have the periods that I forget to take it). I do not let it rule my life. I let it work in my life allowing me to be a better person. I have tried for many years to get the balance on my own, avoiding this gift of God. I felt that it was a crutch, and in a way it is, but it is one that I am willing to lean on because God put it there for me to lean on. And I am a better person for it. Medication can be a good thing.

Monday, March 28, 2011

Hot Spots

I have been taking part in Simple Mom’s Project Simplify. Each week this month she has focused on an area of the home, starting with the closet, then paper clutter, last week was kids cloths and toys and this week is Fridge and Pantry. What I love about this blog is that she provides simple ways to make the clutter disappear. She doesn’t say “look in your closet and toss what you don’t wear” she says “try on each item, see how you feel in it, if you don’t like it or don’t feel comfortable get rid of it.” This takes my idea of cleaning the closet one step further.

The funny thing is that as she posts each hot spot, as she calls them, I laugh as I have ‘just done them’. But as I read her suggestions of how it is done, I realize that I have only done half the battle. About a week before she posted hot spot number one, I had already gone through my closet. But as I followed her guide lines, I filled one large garbage bag full of my cloths, and another full of my husbands. I really thought about each item and tried on several of my old favorites (the ones I had before I had my son who is now two). I used to like the way I looked and felt in them, but not anymore, I tossed some, and placed some in the resell bag. As I moved on to paper clutter, I again laughed as I had already tackled several months of paper work. I did not have as much to do, but she suggested ways of preventing said paper clutter in the future, that was my main task (and yes I still have a box of old stuff that I am working up the courage to get to.

The only hot spot so far that I have actually been successful with before she wrote about was the kids cloths and toys. I am constantly going through my sons cloths and either getting rid of or storing them. Several people in my church and family have children younger than my boy and I give most of the stuff away, saving only the stuff I love, incase we have another boy. The toys was my husbands idea, we are storing most of those for now, but as I went into my son’s room to see what I could get rid of, I realized there was very few items that he did not play with that we kept out.

Now for the fridge and pantry… (insert big sigh here) I cleaned out the fridge last week. I laughed as I read the hot spot this week was fridge an pantry. I read the blog further and laughed as she spoke about thinking through the lifestyle choices we make. Several months ago I got this wonderful book called “Simple foods for busy family’s” which addresses the same things that she discusses. It opened my eyes even further to the way that we in America eat today. A lot of people are trying to eat healthier, which is wonderful, but I know for a fact that is can be difficult getting some family members to jump on bored. I pray everyday that my husband will just one day eat veggies, any veggies and say “wow I never knew how good they were.” Of course that is unlikely to happen, but a girl can dream.

So, this week I clean out my pantry, and attempt to get things in order there. Wish me luck.

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Making God time more important than Me time

What about God time? As a Christian mom it is so easy to just go about my busy day wondering when I can have a little “Me Time” throwing out little prayers to God as I go about my day. I often forget that he wants to spend time with me, feeding me spiritually and emotionally. They days and weeks go by, and I wonder why I feel drained. I am praying, right? I occasionally read a devotional… but the days between those readings can be more than I care to share. What is wrong? The answer, I am not taking God time.

What does this mean to me? It means that I sit, quietly, listening… listening. Those prayers that I throw up to him are not what I am talking about. God is not there to just answer our prayers; he is there to renew us.

I need not ask why I forget this, but what I can do to fix it. I have yet to find the right fit for me. So, readers, what works for you, or if you haven’t found the right fit for you, what are you trying to do to fix it? God is awesome; he is big (bigger than the boggy man according to Veggie Tales). He can fix our problems, so one of those prayers I throw out during my day will be to help me find the time, or maybe a better word is ‘make’ the time.

How do you make the time?

Thursday, March 10, 2011

What do you Think?

Some days I wake up and well, I don’t really want to be awake. Not just because I am tired, but because I have no motivation. Some might call it depression, but I have a hard time with that word. Not that I am saying it is a bad word, I just feel as though that word does not correctly describe what is going on. Yes, I have had days where I was depressed, but to label myself as someone who suffers from depression on a regular basis does not seem accurate.

I feel the need to purge my mind of this ‘issue’ that I am sure so many suffer from; lack of motivation, and its source. There is so much that I want to do, the list fluctuates from day to day, but overall there is so many things I want to be when I grow up (yes I know, 33 is already grown up). My lack of motivation comes from this desire to be so many things. It seems counterintuitive, but there you have it.

When someone has so many dreams, where does she start in achieving even one of those dreams? That is the question that holds me back. Some of my dreams are wonderful, but require more than I currently have to achieve, another thing that holds me back…

I am looking for encouragement. I am looking for an answer to that question, the one that haunts most of us, What am I. I have the easy titles, Daughter, Friend, Wife, Mother. Those are part of my essence, things that are constant and require very little from me to accomplish. But beyond that, What am I?

Since the recent loss of my job, I have enjoyed the title, Stay at Home Mom. I love that title, but with the economy the way that it is, and the possibility of a major paycut in my husbands income, this wonderful title will not last longer than my unemployment checks. I get the privilege of staying home for 2011. But once that is up, it is back to the grindstone… I get to become that dreaded title of “working mom.” In many ways this title is easier than Stay at Home Mom, but I want to be the one to raise my child, not the lady at daycare (all though she is a wonderful woman, and loves my child, she doesn’t love him like I do).

My mind keeps working out what I can do as a “working mom” that would make it something I do not dread. I want to work from home, but have no idea how to do it, especially with a toddler in tow. I have thought about selling my crafts on Etsy… but. I have thought about tutoring… but. I have thought about catering… but. I have thought about writing… but. But… that word is my enemy here. I want for so many things to happen. I want to be my own boss when the times for me to bring in some money, but… How.

My current journey is to remove the but from one of those above sentences. To find the thing that I am supposed to do. If it is not one of those above sentences, then I want to find the thing for me. And, I intend on focusing on God through it all, so that the stress level is gone. I have 9 months left before I must figure out how to replace my income.

My requests are prayer and recommendations. Please pray that God reveal to me his will for my life right now, and that he give me the confidence I need. Please feel free to leave recommendations and helpful suggestions. I don’t know how many readers I have, but if you read this, leave a comment. If you are new, and don’t even know me, please, leave a comment… I want to know what others are going through, what they think. I want to have a conversation.

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

The True Children of God

“The True Children of God are those who let God’s Spirit lead them.” Romans 8:14

I am in ever constant state of attempting to find the “perfect” way to organize things. There is no particular thing that I tend to focus on (I am ADHD so I think that is impossible). Whatever strikes my fancy is what I attempt to make perfect.

Being relatively new to the stay at home mom scene, my latest project perfection is how I organize my day. Simple Mom’s Daily Docket has been a life saver, and a curse… yes I said it, a curse. It is just one more thing for me to attempt to make perfect. If my life were a novel, and I the heroine, perfectionism would be my fatal flaw. Yet, there are moments, like when I read the above scripture, that I realize that I am not perfect. God is perfect… amazing, wonderful, awesome. I know this because as I was going about my morning ritual, (hazily making coffee, forgetting for the umpteenth time to give Ronin his cup of milk) I prayed that God would speak to me through the scripture today. And so he did.

True Children of God… I consider myself a true child of God… are those who let God’s Spirit lead them. And still, I go about my day, often not necessarily as planned, but as I see fit. I forget that sometimes God wants me to do something other than what is written on my Daily Docket… Sometimes he has an unexpected appointment for me that will benefit not only me, but the people I come in to contact with. If I remember this, if I remember that God is bigger than my perfectionism, my fatal flaw, then I am doing good.

Lord, help me to move beyond the flaws of my humanity, and listen to your plan for my day. Help me to see that I am your child, and that I need to let you lead me. Remind me on a daily basis YOUR plan for my day, and that it is PERFECT, because you are PERFECT.

Monday, March 7, 2011

My Relationship to the story of Joseph

As I am sure I have mentioned in previous posts, I have been using organizational tools provided by the Simple Mom. Ofcourse being the obsessive compulsive person I am, and one who loves to ‘tweek’ things, I have taken it and made it my own.

The basic idea is that at the top there are the ‘most important things’ followed by what’s for dinner and ‘work’ then Today’s to do list, and Today’s general plan, then the daily cleaning. ( I have another sheet with the menu plan and total cleaning list for the week. I write down in my today’s to do list those things from the weekly list that I have chosen to do, some weeks it is by room, others it is by type of surface or task. This “daily docket” is my accountability tool. It asks me to write down the must do’s, the should do’s, and the want to do’s, so that I have a guide for my day.

Next to the most important things is possibly the most important thing for me to focus on. It is the “Daily Scripture”. I changed what she had written, at this moment I do not recall what that was. I have been using a book that was given to me years ago, written by Max Lucado. “Grace for the Moment” provides a scripture and experts from Lucado’s books pertaining to the scripture. My main goal in life, and especially right now, is to focus on those scriptures. Not only to read what Lucado has to say about them, but to make them my own.

Today’s scripture was “May the God you serve all the time, save you” Daniel 6:16.

The awesome thing about God is, his love is unconditional. Although I may not be there 100 % of the time, he still loves me. I get so caught up in my life, (getting things done, getting frustrated at things) I often forget to serve him.

It is my prayer Lord, that you save me from this pit I have fallen into called distraction (by things). Do for me what you did for Joseph, and as I move closer to the throne, help me to be a faithful servent, as you did for Joseph. Help me to see those you surround me with as a blessing, even though it may not be where I want to be. Help me to be faithful in serving them, and to be a light to them.

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Home management-

This is a topic that I am unfamiliar with. Yes, I am wife and mother, and that should include home manager. But let me tell you something… this is an area that has eluded me for some time. I should be the heart of the home, which is the plan that God had in mind when he made us. I am sad to say that I have been lacking in that area for far too long. As I go about my days, reeling from the dramatic changes that have happened in regards to my day to day life, I am drawn to one thing. I am called, at this time in my life to manage my home. I am always called to this, but at this time in my life I am called to learn what being a home manager means.

The desire of my heart is to be a good wife and mother. I want my son and husband to be content with their life at home. I want my husband to walk in to the home, and feel that he is laying aside the stresses of the day, not to pick up the stresses of home, but to rest, renew himself for the next day. I want my son to always have a smile in his eyes knowing that home is a place of peace. I never had that growing up, nor did my parents. It is a foreign concept to me. But it is a concept that I intend to bring to fruition in my life. I have no control over what my husband feels, but I do have control over the environment he spends his evenings and weekends in; that environment it going to be one of peace.

As my dear friend, and fellow stay at home mom said, “don’t complain to him, complain to your girlfriends, we know.” I want my husband to not feel overwhelmed by worries, by my concerns, nor do I want him to feel overwhelmed by my lack of responsibility both economically and emotionally. I am taking the bull by the horns as the saying goes. I am on the road to realizing the dream of a happy content home.

It is not to say that I have not been happy, but I realize that happiness, true happiness, only comes when one strives to better themselves. I am not talking about bettering myself according to earthly standards; I am talking about the bettering of the spiritual self. In the daily devotional, Grace for the Moment, by Max Lucado, February 22 has the scripture “We Christians actually do have within us a portion of the very thoughts and mind of Christ” 1 Corinthians 2:16 TLB. So, if I have the very mind of Christ within me, what is to say that I cannot better myself, cannot become more like him?

The healing of wounds is a big deal, not physical but emotional, the wounds of the spirit, we all have them. Those things that happened to us when we were young, that have helped to shape us into who we are today. God heals wounds, and sometimes he uses his people to do that. As I sit here thinking of my family, where we are at, both my new family and my childhood family, I realize that God has done a lot for us. He has healed many wounds, but there are some that need to be healed still. It is my prayer that both my husband and I, and other members of our family, can find healing in this new path that I am choosing to live.

It is not really anything different from the paths that I have traveled down in the past, but in each phase of life, the path takes on different overtones. Once the path was managing my life as a student, and now it is managing my life as wife and mother, and making things work for my family. Each step we take down our given paths leads us closer to God. I want to bring my family down that path. I pray that God takes the lead, shows me where to go, and that those in my family will be inspired to follow.

Being a home manager, wow, what an awesome responsibility; one that I am willing to take head on right now.

Friday, February 4, 2011

And so it goes

Life is crazy. My life is crazy, and wonderful. I lose one job only to discover the best and most tiring job ever. I mean look at that face. Granted he is two and he isn't always happy, but when he gets that smile you'll just melt I guarantee it. Next to my honey (aka: husband, Mike, slacker) that smile is my favorite person ever.

I have been struggling with this whole loosing my job situation, but I have recently come to terms with it, not just intellectually, but in my heart. I can truly say that things have taken a turn for the better. I am finally okay with losing my job because I know that God has bigger, better plans for my life. I won't even pretend to know what they are, But I do know one thing for sure, His plans are bigger and far better than anything I could ever hope for, I just need to trust Him.