Tuesday, December 29, 2009

It was a Very Merry Christmas

We had a wonderful Chrismas this year. It was so much fun watching Ronin open his presents, he was more interested in the paper than the toys for a while. We got to have 3 christmas's, one with my Mom and Stepdad, one with my Dad and one with Mikes Parents. I intend to post pictures as soon as I have a little time to sit down and go trough them.

I am looking forward to this saturday, as it is Ronin's first birthday..... oh my I can not believe my baby boy is one in five days. (insert heavy sigh here)

His latest thing is playing with the dog. He just laughs and laugh and squeels like it is the greatest thing in the world. I have a video of him playing, and for those who are my friends on facebook I posted it there (I can't do it on this blog as it I am on my work computer).

It is hard to believe that 2009 is coming to an end. It is hard to believe that I have a son, a home, a husband, ah the blessing of life.

Okay, I should get back to work.

Thursday, December 17, 2009

Coming to some hard realizations

I have come to a very hard realization today. I have a problem. It is not an uncommon one. Not in the slightest. In fact I am sure more people have this problem than are willing to admit it. I am a compulsive spender. Now, it doesn’t matter what I am spending my money on, but I do it, regardless of the consequences. My Husband has requested, numerous times, that I let him know BEFORE I make the purchase to make sure that we have the money, which is not a bad thing, as he is the one who pays the bills and knows our financial situation better than I do. Yet time and again, I continue to make the same choice…. CHOICE, wow, it just hit me that I am making the choice to sabotage my financial peace.

What am I going to do about it? I am going to make the choice to fix it. I have attempted to many times in the past, but I believe that was only half hearted. It was the disappointment in my husband’s voice as he talked to me about it this morning. He was truly frustrated, and hurt that I kept blatantly disregarding what he was telling me about our finances. I was not listening that at such and such a time we do not have the money to be spending on this, or that. I made a call today. To a friend who is facilitating the Financial Peace University, by Dave Ramsey, and signed myself up, I told my husband that I want him to come, so that we can be on the same page, but that it was something that I need to do. I hope that through it all, not only will our finances be in order, but the emotional connection that I have towards those finances will also be in order.

The interesting thing is a lot of things are starting to fall into place in my life. I am finally getting my house in order, in such a manner that I do not feel frustrated every time I walk into one room or another. It is an exhilarating feeling to have accomplished this goal. I enjoy my time at home more, and with my son. I think the fact that I let go and let God help me gain control of my frustration and obsessive compulsive tendencies helped me come to a place where I said, “I am only doing what I can do.”

My problem is that I bit off more than I can chew by myself. I need to let go and let God have control and release to me what I can handle. If only I remembered that every minute of everyday.

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

The wonderful Holiday season

I am so excited for Christmas this year. It will be Ronin's first one!!! followed shortly there after by his first Birthday. I am blown away at how fast this year as has gone by. I never imagined that time could fly by so quickly. Some days I feel as though I have not had a moment to sit down and take a breath. But it even though I spend much of my time in a state of exhaustion, I am thoroughly content with my life the way it is. (okay so maybe if I had a magic elf to clean my house for me I would be a little happier)

Ronin, just the past few days, as been trying his hardest to stand with out holding on to anything. I was loading the dishwasher while he was jabbering away in his play pen, when he stopped jabbering, I looked over and had this look of extreme concentration on his face, his arms sticking out and just standing there. His face said "I'm doing it, I'm not going to fall, I'm standing" it was the cutest thing ever, and I did not have a camera.

I am hoping, and dreading that he will be walking by Christmas... I want to enjoy every stage, but I get so excited about the next step... I just wish the next step included a pause button and sleeping through the night....

Okay, well, I must get back to work... and trying not to fall asleep at my desk.