Thursday, February 7, 2013

Chaos



Life is chaotic in so many ways. We have intentions, things we want to accomplish. We make lists, we lose lists, we have dreams, and those dreams change.  It can be frustrating, infuriating in fact, when those lists don’t get completed, or those dreams aren’t achieved.  But the one thing I am beginning to realize, as my life changes and the chaos abounds; no matter what is going on in your life, there is always something good to hang on to.

My dreams are still there (changing a little as time goes by, adapting if you will), and although they have not been accomplished yet, I still hold on to them.  They are part of what keeps me going when I go to that job that pays the bills but doesn’t fulfill my dream. Along with the dreams is my family.  I look at my son, his big smile  and “hug me now, kiss me too” requests throughout the day, my husband who goes to work from 9-5, while picking up side jobs to make ends meet, who is tired and needs a vacation… I look at all these things, at the life growing inside me, and I am blessed.   I still have my dream, I still have my family! God is good!

So, as a venture into a new chapter of my life, yet again, I hold on to the good, the beautiful, and embrace my place in the world. I am not perfect, by any means, but I am a child of God with a purpose.  I embrace where I am because I have followed God’s will, and he has placed me here.  I still dream, and someday that dream will become real, I will be where I want to be, doing what I want to do. In the mean time, I am doing what I have to do, embracing my family, and finding joy and peace amidst the chaos that is life.

Tuesday, August 14, 2012

Ephesians 2:10

Ephesians 2:10
“For we are God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.”

It is difficult, sometimes, to feel like there is a higher purpose in life. We go about our day, however that is, and sometimes it just seems pointless.  I have been at this point for more than a year.  I wonder what my purpose in life is.

I got caught up in the world, feeling like my life needs to have some grand scheme to it. There is a need to be greater. But then I am called back to a place of humbleness. I am reminded that without the people who clean up the messes, life would be pretty ugly.

As I read the scripture today I am also recalled to the fact that He has me covered.  Point in case… we need money to pay our bills, and my husband (who does computer work on the side) got three calls to do computer jobs, that right there is enough to make a car payment and some.  Praise God. 

So, how does the feeling of life being pointless and the fact that God has me covered tie together?  My husband was given an amazing gift, the ability to understand technology.  One of the calls he got was a desperate woman who had her school work on the computer, she needed it to finish up some assignments, and in no time he had the stuff she needed on a disk, ready to give to her, while he worked on getting her computer up and running.  This woman was in need, and my husband was able to help her.  What greater example of Christ is there?  God provided an opportunity for my husband to have a greater purpose, while providing for his family.

As I have mentioned many times, this period of my life is a time of struggle.  I have been dealing with emotions that I thought I had dealt with back in my first year of college.  In a way, I feel as though I have lost my identity.  But then other mom’s remind me that I am a mom, I am raising a man of God.  I need to embrace that.  That is my purpose.  That is what my job is right now.  Yes, I need to find one that pays, but while I am searching I need to remember that God has prepared ‘good works’ for me. He knows where I am going, and I need to turn to his word to be reminded of that.  One verse out of many sent me an amazing message: God is in control.

Followers