Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Head banger

I sigh heavily as I sit down to write tonight. It has been one of those days. You all know them, the one that makes you just want to take the advice of the sign that many people have hanging on their office wall, "bang head hear!"

I will preface with this. I love my job! Let me say that again I LOVE my job. It is the first “real” job that I have had. Mostly up until this point I have worked retail (which I hate with a passion I cannot fully put into words) or those tedious repetitive jobs that make you want to pull your hair out because there is nothing better to do. But it is days like today that the tedium of my old jobs is something I long for. I look at my desk and see the piles of paper getting larger, and the phone keeps ringing with return calls, half the time can’t even remember why I called them in the first place. ( I’m supposed to note it in our computer system, but I am creative and that sometimes is too concrete for me hehe). To top it all off we had a procedure meeting, heavy sigh! We are a relatively new department so certain things have not had a ‘set’ way of doing them, and this meeting was meant to clarify things. I laugh out loud and ask how that was supposed to help… I don’t know… really I don’t know.

I take a few moments and pause, calling my dog, as she probably has gotten into the garbage again. I have decide to close the door, so she can’t get to the garbage ( I am SO clever). Coming back to my computer, my thoughts have made a slight course adjustment… which it often does. I don’t even need a brief pause, I will, as many of my acquaintances will attest to, jump from one topic of conversation to the next with out any prior warning. The one thing about writing that has an advantage over talking in real life is that I can prepare you for my course adjustment, and any alterations. All this to say that what I want to say next is only partially related to what I have already said. (Oh My I even amaze myself sometimes.)

Isn’t it odd that society has somehow ingrained in us that we should be a certain way. I mean take my work situation. As I mentioned I have worked slightly above minimum wage jobs most of my life post high school life. Some of which drove me to a near nervous breakdown due to my extreme hatred of them (Wal-Mart/State farm Call Center). I had convinced myself that being in my late 20’s and working at some of these jobs was degrading, I mean I am told that I am intelligent (don’t always believe it, but hey) and due to this vote of confidence from friends, family, and an odd stranger here and there I felt like I was far above the jobs I had work. I would tell my self that I was worth more than this. Now… when you really take a look at the why behind those jobs, a whole new story comes to light. So, what was they why behind these jobs. I have my bachelors. I worked at Wal-Mart to pay the bills while I got that. The State farm Call Center job was also a job to help pay the bills while I was working on my Master’s ( I was married by this time). I have finally found a job that allows me to use my mind… I get to make important decisions, and I am not jus the girl behind the cash register or on the other end of the phone line annoying the heck out of you. It is not my dream job, but I love it.

So what does this mean. It means that society doesn’t matter. When you boil it all down, you have to make the decision of how to perceive your world. Are you going to let the preconceived prejudices of this world hold you down and make you feel less worth. My answer to that is: heck no. This world, sadly enough, is corrupt, and in that corruption these preconceived notions of what is the norm are born. I have not read my bible in too long, but one thing that I do know, God died for me… if I was the only person on the planet, He would have died for me. He is the one that we should be looking to for validation, not the person on the other side of the cash register, not even the people who read my blogs (although I appreciate comments). When someone speaks something to you in love, take it, evaluate it and grow. When someone makes an off hand remark about where you are in your life, remind yourself that you are just where God has placed you, and don’t let that off hand remark get you down. This is something that I often have to remind myself off, along with those I love.

I always feel as though I should have some wise word to sum things up with, a ‘good ending.’ But all I can say is this… live your life the way YOU want to live your life… not the way that society says you should.

Friday, January 11, 2008

My Second First Time

This is not my first time starting a blog- but it will be my first time maintaining said blog. I have a wonderful tendency to start something and then forget about it. I have every intention of keeping up on it, but for one reason or another the darn thing slips out of my mind. Well... I make a promise that today I will start anew... it helps that my dear friend who suggested I would be a wonderful blogger most likely won't let me forget about it. But with that said, I will tell a little about myself, as that seems appropriate for my first posting.

My name is Janet Olson, I grew up in a small town that most will know as the home of Keiko the Whale (for a brief time) which is Newport Oregon. Due to the nearness to the ocean, I am fond of wide open spaces, and love the sound of the waves crashing on the shore. The one major thing that I miss about living in Newport is the sound of the fog horns out on the ocean as I drifted off to sleep in my youth. There is nothing more soothing than the lulling sound of the deep horns warning the ships that land is near.

I am an alumnus of Western Oregon University, which is located in the small town of Monmouth (yes even smaller than my home town). I graduated with my BA in English Literature, with a minor in Art. I enjoy painting, but due to lack of space have not done as much as I would like. My medium is Oil's and my subject matter is what ever strikes me at the moment. I currently am fond of abstract art, partially because perfection does not enter the picture (since I am a perfectionist this takes away the element of frustration I often get) and partially because it allows me to choose the color combinations, free of any real world restrictions.

I am very close to finishing my Masters of Arts in English Literature, I just have some corrections to make on my Thesis, and then it will be up to those who are reading as to whether or not I should get it. My mentor says it is good, and she has good taste, so I take her word for it. The title of my thesis is Humor as Social Commentary in the Novels of Jane Austen. Some day I hope to apply this to all of her novels, but as it stand I choose her Juvenile works along with Pride and Prejudice and Persuasions. It was fun to write, and I learned a lot about the brilliance of Jane Austen and how she attempted to "buck the system" in her own way. I would say that she is the female version of Shakespeare, she could comment on the society that she was writing for, and they enjoyed it, not realizing that she was criticizing them. If that is not brilliance then I don't know what is!

I will be married for 3 years this coming May! Marriage is a wonderful, yet difficult path, but it is worth it. My husband is such a caring person, and I strive to be as generous as he is. We don't have any children yet, but we do have our miniature dachshund Maia! She is quite the handful... at this moment she is attempting to get comfortable on her pillow, but had been whining for me to play play play.... I wish I only had half as much energy as she does. Lately she has been a very disobedient little thing... any suggestions anyone might have on keeping her in line would be greatly appreciated.

Well.... I could go on and on and on and on and on and well you get the idea, but it seems that it is time for me to stop.